A few days before my first ever Fowlkes Baseball/End of Summer/Back to School/Sandlot Baseball Game, I was told about an incident that occurred recently at the 2019 Dizzy Dean World Series in Southaven, Mississippi. The police had to be called to escort a mom off the premises during a 7 year old baseball game. She wanted to stay, and promised not to curse and berate the umpires or opposing coaches any more. But since she had already dropped about a half a dozen "F" bombs, the police weren't having it!
This past Saturday morning, I addressed the parents of a great bunch of kids that I have known for a few years. We were about to play sandlot baseball. The parents laughed when I told them that I didn't want to have to call the police on anybody. Better yet, I didn't even have to explain the rules.
You see, this first ever Fowlkes Baseball/End of Summer/Back to School/Sandlot Baseball Game was the kids' idea! This past year, I started teaching the kids who met after school at a local park, how to play sandlot ball. The more they played, the more they enjoyed it. With school about to start again, the kids asked the parents to contact me for a fun get together to end the summer. I was honored!
When I started doing this, all I did was act as the all-time pitcher. The boys and girls always had fun, because I let them make all the decisions. From calling balls and strikes, to safe and out calls, fair and foul balls, batting order, and everything. In other words, NO umpires and NO parents!
The after school parents saw how much fun they were having and started to come watch. One day, a mom yelled out instructions to her child. "You should have gone to 2nd base, why did you stop at 1st!" To her surprise, I stopped the game to tell her to either shut up or go back to the shade at the playground (of course, I said this with a smile because we know each other well).
"But seriously", I said, "the reason the kids are having so much fun, is because I am taking the adults out of the game." It didn't take long, but the parents of all these kids started to realize that I was right. Any time a new child came to the park to play with us, I didn't have to explain the rules to the new parent. The other parents would do it for me.
Mark Hyman wrote this in a New York Times article in 2010. The
benefits of sandlot games are many, sports researchers say. They give
youngsters a chance to flex their creative muscles as they invent new rules. When they form teams and make other big decisions, they are also learning to
face problems with their friends and, if they play long enough, to solve them.
Also, the
lessons learned from choosing up sides — negotiation, conflict resolution —
they’re the building blocks of civilization.
In other words, let the kids play!
During our sandlot game, a new parent showed up at the park. His kids were welcomed into the game. When one of his son's stepped to the plate, he swung and missed at every pitch. I gave him some extra pitches, hoping he would get to run the bases, but his dad was telling him after every pitch to bend his knees more, watch the ball, and other "encouragement".
After he struck out, I approached the dad and asked him to please do like all the other parents were doing. He didn't even realize what was happening. "All I was doing was cheering him on. I just want him to do well!" I politely told him that his son was looking back at him after every pitch, and his body language got worse after every comment. Dads don't realize how much their encouragement just sounds like loud, negative statements to a child. Especially when you're the only one talking!
I coached a "travel all-star team" for the first time in my career this summer. But my son was more excited about getting ready for this sandlot baseball game than he was about any of those games. He enjoys playing baseball no matter what, but there is a huge difference when no parents are involved.
It's time to do something about it! I have proposed a league with no parents until they're 8 years old, controlled scrimmages and coach training until they're 12, and a feeder program for high school teams starting at 13. Instead of playing as many games as possible, my philosophy is to only play games when your team is ready to play. Look this up on my website at
www.fowlkesbaseball.com.
Feel free to contact me if you support this idea. Let's get something organized and make baseball fun again for the kids, before it's too late! You're killing me, dads!
